Poker Jokes
5 posts • Page 1 of 1
by rimvis on Mon May 28, 2007 8:40 am
Markas wrote:If you know some poker jokes please post them here
Pizza and Poker Player
What's the difference between a large cheese pizza and a poker player?
A large cheese pizza can feed a family of 4, a poker player can't.
Last edited by rimvis on Mon May 28, 2007 8:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
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rimvis - Chuck Norris
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by badriver4me on Mon Sep 17, 2007 5:15 pm
Could someone please explain Omaha to me?
Surely.
What you do is get four cards. Doesn't matter much what they are because nobody really looks at them anyway. Next, they put three cards on the board. It doesn't matter what they are because nobody really pays any attention to the flop either. Then one more card for the turn and another one for the river. Same betting scenario as before. Doesn't really matter much what they are, except, for a few of the players that may have "cheated" and looked at their hole cards. These players may now fold if they have absolutely no outs. (Mostly bad sports.) Now, at the showdown, everybody turns over their cards and helps the dealer figure out who has the best hand. You MUST play two cards out of your hand so this usually takes a while and and the winning hand is usually found out after a little bit of searching by all of the players and a partially confused dealer. The dealer now pushes the pot to the wrong player and everybody yells at him and he smiles glibly and says, "Oh yeah,,sorry" and then sends it in the right direction. Then, after all of that excitement dies down, everybody lets out a collective sigh of relief and gets ready to wind up and do it all over again. Fun game.
And another one :
A guy was playing 10-20 holdem and was stuck about 300 dollars when he looked down beside the table and saw a little green leprechaun.
“Quit playing poker forever right now and I’ll give you a pot of gold worth a million dollars.”, said the little fellow.
The player replied, “Let me get even first.”
Surely.
What you do is get four cards. Doesn't matter much what they are because nobody really looks at them anyway. Next, they put three cards on the board. It doesn't matter what they are because nobody really pays any attention to the flop either. Then one more card for the turn and another one for the river. Same betting scenario as before. Doesn't really matter much what they are, except, for a few of the players that may have "cheated" and looked at their hole cards. These players may now fold if they have absolutely no outs. (Mostly bad sports.) Now, at the showdown, everybody turns over their cards and helps the dealer figure out who has the best hand. You MUST play two cards out of your hand so this usually takes a while and and the winning hand is usually found out after a little bit of searching by all of the players and a partially confused dealer. The dealer now pushes the pot to the wrong player and everybody yells at him and he smiles glibly and says, "Oh yeah,,sorry" and then sends it in the right direction. Then, after all of that excitement dies down, everybody lets out a collective sigh of relief and gets ready to wind up and do it all over again. Fun game.
And another one :
A guy was playing 10-20 holdem and was stuck about 300 dollars when he looked down beside the table and saw a little green leprechaun.
“Quit playing poker forever right now and I’ll give you a pot of gold worth a million dollars.”, said the little fellow.
The player replied, “Let me get even first.”
Last edited by badriver4me on Mon Sep 17, 2007 5:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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badriver4me - Regular Player
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