Poker Joke Of The Day : General Chat - Page 3

A Bum And 2$

A Bum Asks a Man for $2. The man says, "Will you buy booze?" The bum says, "No." The man says, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum says, "No." So the man says, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"

Angry Old Women

Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say f*ck?
A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!

There's a guy who lives in Ohio. One morning, he hears a voice in his head.
The voice says, "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."
He ignores the voice. Later in the day, he hears the voice again.
"Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."
Again, he ignores the voice. Soon he hears the voice every minute of the day.
"Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."
He can't take it anymore. He believes the voice.
He quits his job, sells his house, takes all his money, and flies to Las Vegas.
As soon as he steps off the plane, the voice says, "Go to the Horseshoe."

He goes to The Horseshoe. The voice says, "Put all your money into a World Series of Poker (WSOP) entry."
He puts up his $10,000 and buys an entry into the WSOP.
He goes to his assigned tournament table.
The first hand is dealt and the guy is dealt AsAd.
The voice says, "Go all in."
He pushes his entire $10,000 bankroll into the pot.
Three players call.
The dealer lays down the flop which is Jh10h9h.
The voice says, "FUCK!"

janark wrote:There's a guy who lives in Ohio. One morning, he hears a voice in his head.
The voice says, "Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."
He ignores the voice. Later in the day, he hears the voice again.
"Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."
Again, he ignores the voice. Soon he hears the voice every minute of the day.
"Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas."
He can't take it anymore. He believes the voice.
He quits his job, sells his house, takes all his money, and flies to Las Vegas.
As soon as he steps off the plane, the voice says, "Go to the Horseshoe."

He goes to The Horseshoe. The voice says, "Put all your money into a World Series of Poker (WSOP) entry."
He puts up his $10,000 and buys an entry into the WSOP.
He goes to his assigned tournament table.
The first hand is dealt and the guy is dealt AsAd.
The voice says, "Go all in."
He pushes his entire $10,000 bankroll into the pot.
Three players call.
The dealer lays down the flop which is Jh10h9h.
The voice says, "FUCK!"

good one